The Church of Barnes and Noble

Sunday is the day that many people go to church, including my wife.  Each Sunday morning she usually gets up before dawn and starts her day.  I, on the other hand, usually don't even roll over until 0930ish - and that's a big "ish."  Like 1030 to 1100 in my book is still 0930ish.  Like so many people who go to church, with their routines and rituals, I go to my "church," the church of Barnes and Noble, and perform my own rituals.  One of the things I like about my church is when I give my tithe (10%), I have something to show for it - a child that I bring home and introduce to the rest of my children.  Now, before anyone calls the police, I should explain what I mean by bringing home a child...

When Cindy and I were first married, I introduced her to my voluminous sundry of books.  When we moved in to our first teeny tiny apartment I displayed those books on two book cases in our bedroom. The books took up more room than a two pound bologna in a one pound casing.  One day Cindy and I were having a discussion about my book collection and I was telling her all about when I purchases this book or that book, what each one was about, what it meant to me, etc.  She had a smile on her face and said, "you talk about those books like they are your children."  I pretty much was able to give a chronology of my life with the books that I had obtained.   I got to thinking about it and it's true.  I do feel a certain connection with my books.  Like a child's Teddy Bear, they mean a lot to me...the stories I've read are linked to significant times in my life.  I have the first spiritual book I read, The Late Great Planet Earth by Hal Lindsey.  I read that book cover to cover in one day when I lived in the Barracks at RAF Chicksands England.  I bought it at a quaint religious book store in Hitchen, England.  I remember the smells of that place. I remember the cobble stone streets I walked to get to and from the store.  I remember paying for the book in English Sterling. I remember the feeling I got from reading the book and the room and bed I sat on while I read it.   I remember discussions I had about it's content with other guys in the barracks, some agreed with me, others didn't. I have many books that have stories linked to them, like that one, that brings me pleasure and pain.  And I love them all.

So, after showing Cindy several of my books and giving her the background,  we started referring to any book that I purchased as a "child."   "So, did you adopt any children today," Cindy would ask. "No, not today" or "yes, I adopted three children today" or whatever the case may be.

I suppose, if I'm to be honest about things,  I am just as religious about going to my church as Cindy is about going to her church - I just have to drive a little further.  There is no dress code at my church either, but I shower and shave anyway before I go.  For me, it's a place where I go to recharge, contemplate things, meditate, have moments of silence and read good books - not THE good book, but good books.  I'll have to ask my wife if her church books are all GOOD books, or good books, or just books.  At my church they don't pass the sacrament, but they do make a pretty good Mocha Frapachino, and I often pay a partial tithe to get one.  Also, I've attended the church of b&n long enough that the people there know me and even exchange pleasantries sometimes.  I'm sure that some of them have even seen me sleep and heard me snore - probably a lot like your churches - come on guys, you know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, after I've had my religious experience for the day, I head back home in the afternoon to spend the rest of my day with my wife.  Apparently what they do at her church must be different than mine, because when I get home, Cindy is exhausted  - she is usually napping on the couch and either watching or listening to BYU T.V.  She assures me she is not sleeping though.  She is only resting her eyes.

Why don't I attend church with my wife?  Well, it's complicated and so I'll leave that for another day.  Because to explain it, I'd have to get into some of my ugly past, which I'll do later, and discuss some things that may be sensitive to some readers. For now though, let me just say I'm a skeptic with an open mind.  Besides, the church of b&n doesn't have tall slender members that I can develop a thing for - so for now, I'll continue my rituals there...it's safer for me that way.